1 00:00:00,910 --> 00:00:06,950 When I'm on my deathbed, the biggest regret I will ever have is knowing 2 00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:13,910 that I had a job that every person in the world would fucking 3 00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:14,910 kill for. 4 00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:16,970 And I fucked it up. 5 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:20,930 I'm going to be mad about that until I go to the fucking grave. 6 00:00:25,270 --> 00:00:27,630 Boogie2988, he's a legend of YouTube. He's been around forever. 7 00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,320 There was one girl. 8 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:14,260 I don't know if I should talk about this, Mike, but I'm going to. There was 9 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:18,020 one girl that I dated. She liked a lot of childish things. 10 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,980 She liked rubber ducks. 11 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,920 That's why I have some of these rubber ducks. 12 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:29,620 And one of my favorite memories with her is us sitting in this tub, her playing 13 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:33,540 with rubber ducks as I washed her. And then when we got out, I took her to bed. 14 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,720 One of the best nights of my life, Mike. 15 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,250 Happened. Right here. 16 00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:49,630 Yeah, so when it comes to financial approach, I don't fucking know what I'm 17 00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:56,470 doing. Money comes in, money goes out. For the longest time, my ex-wife handled 18 00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:57,890 that shit, but then I got divorced. 19 00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:01,190 I don't know where my money is. I don't know what it's doing. The only thing 20 00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:05,190 I've ever done with it is I threw it into crypto and then lost a shitload of 21 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:06,680 it. Well, here's everything. 22 00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:14,160 If you want to see, there's $2,758 23 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,720 in my bank account right now. And let's see if mortgages come out yet. So 24 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,660 tomorrow when they take mortgage out, I'll have about $700 to live off of 25 00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:26,140 until the 20th when I get paid again from YouTube. 26 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:29,000 So I'm just going to live off of $700. 27 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:34,280 And I'll probably sell some cards along the way and use that money to make ends 28 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,280 meet as well. 29 00:02:35,390 --> 00:02:37,970 I have a credit card with them that I owe $600 on. 30 00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:45,210 And on top of that, I still owe $163,000 on my house. I think my net worth is 31 00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:51,290 zero. Once you pull the equity out of the house, get rid of the house debt, 32 00:02:51,490 --> 00:02:57,370 sell off all my collectibles, and pay off all my debts, I think that puts me 33 00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:58,730 at $0. 34 00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:01,550 Shit. 35 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,250 I'm worthless. 36 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,300 Yeah, this is the hard part. Back to reality. 37 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:15,980 So 38 00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:30,140 my 39 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,140 best feature. 40 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,900 This is the one the ladies love. 41 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,600 I call it... 42 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:43,410 My meat apron. I have two meat curtains. There's a 43 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:44,410 second one. 44 00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:50,710 I have two glorious meat curtains. 45 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:54,870 I don't like showing it to people and people don't like seeing it. 46 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:58,930 So that's why I'm going to die alone. 47 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,360 Well, my real name is Steve Williams. 48 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:15,760 I'm known online as Boogie2988 because there's a lot of famous Steve Williamses 49 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,940 and I'm not one of them, right? 50 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:21,959 I started a YouTube channel back in 2006, right at the very beginning. 51 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:28,920 And I got famous for comedy sketches as well as like life vlogs and 52 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,780 just sharing my personal life with other people. 53 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,260 what's up ladies and gentlemen of youtube boogie to 988 coming at you my 54 00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:40,480 ankle on my left leg and head um but that's just the kind of woman i married 55 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,400 so give her some love in the comment section give her as much money as i used 56 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:47,500 to make and it's not exactly enough to make it meet you this is where i spend 57 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:52,620 six to eight hours a day trying to figure out how to save my career what 58 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:55,960 the ladies and gentlemen of youtube boogie to 988 come and show i was 59 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,220 getting through the power of the internet today let's talk a little bit 60 00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:01,640 about why you got to do better than i did 61 00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:07,490 I've told the audience, I've told you guys, I've told everybody, this is the 62 00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:12,430 center of my world, right here in this recliner with my dogs, watching 63 00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:14,870 television, playing video games on that television. 64 00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:20,770 But the other day, the audio on this TV started to go out, and whenever it would 65 00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:23,450 make like S sounds, it would crackle. 66 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:29,290 And so I know I'm budgeting, but I immediately went to Amazon and bought a 67 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:30,290 sound bar for $100. 68 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:34,040 And then the next day, the TV stopped crackling. 69 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,320 And now I have a $100 sound bar that I don't need. 70 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:42,300 But I know I'm supposed to be budgeting right now. But because that's my TV, 71 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:44,960 because that's my only source of entertainment, because it's the only 72 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:49,020 thing I do, it's one of the only things that bring me peace. I'm like, I have to 73 00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:50,120 be able to hear my fucking TV. 74 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:57,580 But that's every addict, right? Like Mitch Hedberg said, I'll just do enough 75 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,400 heroin. And then he like... 76 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:06,860 od on heroin right so i guess every addict tries to manage the addiction but 77 00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:12,260 i don't know man we were talking about compulsive spending a minute ago yeah 78 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:16,980 dude i spent a lot of stuff on a lot of money on stuff 79 00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:23,880 but you know where a lot of the money went and like it 80 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,180 felt really compulsive at the time 81 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,160 I am a former sex worker escort and Boogie2988 was one of my clients. 82 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:51,300 I'm from LA and I get a message on this website. You can probably guess which 83 00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:54,080 one from this guy who looked a lot like Boogie. 84 00:06:54,780 --> 00:07:01,720 I took women on vacation and I took them out to fancy dinners 85 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,960 and I took them to like Disneyland and shit. 86 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:08,140 He bought me dinner. He got me a purse that we were talking about over 87 00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:13,280 messages. And he got me a couple gift cards, and he spent well over $5,000 on 88 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,280 just that night. 89 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,420 You know the rules. The rules are we're going to go out and eat. 90 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,180 We're going to have dinner. Maybe we're going to fuck. 91 00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:24,900 And you're going to enjoy a nice lifestyle that you don't normally get to 92 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:25,900 enjoy. 93 00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:31,500 So he was really funny and definitely told he was nervous. 94 00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:36,660 He did eat a lot of food. I'm pretty sure he got two entrees, which was very 95 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:37,660 unique. 96 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:38,900 It's not a revelation. 97 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,180 I like beautiful women. I like to hang out with beautiful women. Fuck beautiful 98 00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:48,420 women. We all do. I never got to do that. The women I dated were pretty, 99 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,560 sure. 100 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:56,440 But they were like Arkansas 8s, not LA 10s. With sugaring, I got to fuck some 101 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,280 LA 10s, and I think that's cool. 102 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:03,400 We got back to the hotel, and I do regret to say that I slept with Bookie 103 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,400 2988. 104 00:08:05,930 --> 00:08:09,170 Overall, the experience, and I don't mean to fat shame or anything, but there 105 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:13,750 was rules upon rules upon rules, and it took me a lot of time to find a stick. 106 00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:21,030 I am now married with two kids, and sleeping with Boogie is one of the 107 00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:22,130 reasons I quit sex work. 108 00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:27,450 Is that sexist to me? Sure. 109 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,270 Is that womanizing to me? Sure. I don't really care. 110 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:34,169 I'm a 48-year-old man. I never got to fuck a model. 111 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,220 Just let me fuck a couple of models. Is that wrong? 112 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:47,720 Here we have some of the women in this area that are local and ready to go out. 113 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,380 They'll go to dinner with you. They'll go to a show with you. Maybe they'll 114 00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,380 come back to your place. 115 00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:56,180 But they are expecting something in exchange. 116 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,540 But then it's window shopping, right? Like any other... 117 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:07,090 meat market like Tinder. You kind of scroll down the list of photos until you 118 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:09,150 find someone that looks interesting to you. 119 00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:12,370 I think this girl is really cute. 120 00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:14,570 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 121 00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:20,630 She's definitely a little thicker than I necessarily would always go for, but 122 00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:21,630 there's nothing wrong with that. 123 00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:27,130 So I deserve to go to Disneyland with a beautiful girl, right? I deserve to go 124 00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:29,930 to New York and explore Times Square with a beautiful girl. 125 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,560 Like I deserve that and I want that and I've never had it. 126 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:40,520 Man, if I had that money back, that would be half of my mortgage right now. 127 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,100 $10,000 is my entire health insurance payment. 128 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,840 I don't know what the prostitutes did with it and I hope they spend it in good 129 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:49,840 health. 130 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,960 But I sure could use that shit right now. 131 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:55,980 You want to go for a walk? 132 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,120 He knows. 133 00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,750 You can't tell me he doesn't know. 134 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:06,750 Leo up, baby, I know. We'll go in a second. 135 00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:08,450 I've got to prep your brother. 136 00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:13,770 He's great. 137 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:17,150 I actually really love him a lot. 138 00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:21,190 Leo! 139 00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,490 I know how much these things mean to you. 140 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,250 What's it like to have to sell them? 141 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:33,940 to be able to live so selling off these things kind of sucks because i've been 142 00:10:33,940 --> 00:10:38,000 playing magic for 30 years and some of the cards in this box i opened back in 143 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:43,160 1994 i opened them in like 96 and i've held on to them ever since and that's 144 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,320 like they're a piece of my childhood they're a piece of my history i thought 145 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,680 i was going to get buried with this stuff this is this is my stuff this is 146 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,780 me this is part of me 147 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:56,620 And I made some money off of YouTube last month, but I did not make enough 148 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:59,460 without a sponsor or something like that. I'm not making enough, so we're 149 00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,120 going to go to the game shop. 150 00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:06,120 But this is going to keep me from going out on the streets, right? This is going 151 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,120 to keep me in a house. 152 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:14,080 So I think it's bittersweet. I think he would find it bittersweet. He would have 153 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,080 wished I'd... 154 00:11:17,230 --> 00:11:21,210 I'm selling Magic cards on Whatnot. I'm selling collectibles on eBay. I'm 155 00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,710 selling arcade machines locally. 156 00:11:22,990 --> 00:11:25,450 I'll sell it all. And I'm going to sell enough to help with mortgage. 157 00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:30,090 But I'm also going to sell enough to be able to play Magic tonight. 158 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:34,970 Because I don't want people wondering why I'm not there. I don't want people, 159 00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:38,310 like, knowing I'm broke. Like, that's embarrassing. 160 00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:40,510 I can't afford $30 to play Magic. 161 00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:43,150 So I'm spending $30 to play Magic tonight. 162 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:55,880 Okay, so this month I need from you about $1,000 to make mortgage. So I need 163 00:11:55,880 --> 00:12:00,220 you to pick out like $1,000 for the stuff. There's a couple of cradles in 164 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,440 there. There's a city of traders in there. 165 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,200 Well, I can do $200 apiece on this. 166 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,380 What? 167 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,880 Dude, I thought we were looking more like $400, $450 on each of these. 168 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:20,550 $175 is what it's down to. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. 169 00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:22,150 Good Lord. 170 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:23,490 That took a beating. 171 00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:29,210 Fuck. These are reserved list cards, Glenn. 172 00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:31,570 Yeah? They're not going anywhere but up. 173 00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:35,170 Okay. Well, you say that, but the dual hands went down. 174 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:37,830 I mean, yeah. All right. 175 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:41,050 As long as I'm getting mortgage money, as long as I can get some cards there 176 00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:42,050 tonight, okay. 177 00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:45,310 You gave me these back. 178 00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:46,219 Mm-hmm. 179 00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:49,560 you know, to sell on until I come back in here because I'm not going to sell to 180 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,560 anybody else but you. Okay. 181 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:54,480 Two, no, make it three chicken quesadillas. 182 00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:57,760 What's paying for this? 183 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,040 See, you're paying me back. 184 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:04,220 That don't hurt. 185 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,140 Yeah, we all look the same in a game shop. It's because we're fucking 186 00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:15,260 outcasts. We're in a kind of small town. We're fucking autistic as shit. We're 187 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:17,580 awkward around women. We're awkward around people. 188 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,540 We don't know what the fuck we're doing. 189 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:25,200 And then I come back here and I'm looking at all the shit I need to sell. 190 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:30,340 And I'm surrounded by all this shit that I bought for YouTube videos and stuff. 191 00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:33,240 And it's hard to not think about what a fuck up I am. 192 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,800 But that's why I go to the arcade. That's why I go to play Magic. That's 193 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,060 why I have my friends over. 194 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:43,450 Because for just a few hours, I'm not that fuck up from YouTube. I'm just 195 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,309 Steve Williams. 196 00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:45,310 I'm just me. 197 00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:49,010 Oh, this is my Saturday night crew. We get together every Saturday. 198 00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:53,350 We eat pizza. We play Magic. We play board games. We do Smash Brothers. 199 00:13:57,330 --> 00:14:01,810 Magic the Gathering. This is my crack. This is my cocaine. I met him at the 200 00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:02,569 Magic Shop. 201 00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:03,790 I met him at the Magic Shop. 202 00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:06,070 Now, him I met at the Magic Shop. 203 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,700 This guy I met at the magic shop. This guy I met at the magic shop. 204 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,960 This guy I met because he was a roommate with a friend I met at the magic shop. 205 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,840 Okay, so I have a million dollar question for you guys. 206 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:19,840 Every Saturday we get together. 207 00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:24,900 Every Saturday I order what? Pizza, chicken fingers, tacos. 208 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,600 Those are the things I normally get us, right? 209 00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:32,060 Like, I normally spend like $100, $150 every Saturday to like feed us. 210 00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:38,240 And... like i showed them my bank books today and i'm not like i've never wanted 211 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:43,160 to burden you guys with this but like i'm at a point where saving 300 a month 212 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:47,620 would be useful i mean we've been telling you for years that we don't care 213 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:51,820 about the food that much okay like don't like don't get me wrong i like having 214 00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:55,140 snacks and soda when i'm over here because i don't eat those at my house 215 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:59,680 but we've i mean we definitely said it throughout the years like you don't have 216 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:04,060 to feed us but you you do it anyway so when are we going to start bringing 217 00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:07,920 girlfriends around also when are we going to start bringing girlfriends 218 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,900 around that aren't hookers because that's all i've brought around for five 219 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:15,180 years i mean like we haven't had like legitimate girlfriends over in a long 220 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:20,930 time you haven't dated and in a while You haven't dated in a while. I mean, 221 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,990 yeah, a while. That's fair enough, yeah. 222 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:26,090 I mean, you've, like, had some... I think you've had, like... I think he's a 223 00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:29,010 good guy, yeah. I think that Boogie's definitely a good guy. 224 00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:34,070 He loves his friends and his family, and he cares about people a lot, and he 225 00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,050 cares about what people think about him a lot. 226 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:39,610 He's a fun person to be around and to laugh and make jokes with. 227 00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:43,710 Sometimes we open up and we have, like, really personal conversations, and I 228 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,430 enjoy getting to know him in that way as well. 229 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:50,420 Willing to do things for us. He's offered to take care of us or offered us 230 00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:51,420 a room if he needs it. 231 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,360 He's still going to make some of the same jokes. We all have a sort of dry 232 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,360 sense of humor. 233 00:15:56,780 --> 00:15:57,780 Sincere kindness. 234 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:04,300 It doesn't always show up, but he does have a lot of compassion for people. I 235 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,300 think he's just a guy. 236 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,580 With good and bad. 237 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,200 But I don't think he's as bad as a lot of corners of the internet think he is. 238 00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,800 Think as long as he stops tweeting the N-word, he'll be fine. 239 00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,080 The N-word is just a word. 240 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:27,220 If you guys left, and these cameras weren't rolling, and I was sitting here 241 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:33,920 alone in the dark, and I said the N-word, there's no magic power to it. 242 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:35,140 So say it. 243 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,420 Oh, no, I'm not going to say it on camera where it could hurt somebody. I 244 00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:42,660 like offensive humor. I like dark jokes. I say fucked up shit. I think the darker 245 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:49,340 something is, cancer, rape, murder, child abuse, 246 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:54,380 the darker it is, the more important it is to make jokes about it. 247 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,480 I feel, I'm sorry you had to go through that. 248 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:00,699 It's okay. 249 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:03,040 All right. I mean, I didn't go through it. I'm still alive. She's dead. 250 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,800 And, yep, so fuck her. 251 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,680 And now she's dead. That's a lot of money, I guess, for a person of color, 252 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,040 or is it not? I don't know. 253 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,660 Someone said you can't put your finger into a clitoris. 254 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,280 Somebody here doesn't have a scalpel handy. 255 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,640 You can play that fucker just right. You can wrap it all around your fingers. 256 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:21,700 You've got to shave real thin. 257 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,140 Woo! That's disturbing. 258 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,540 That's the most fun thing. 259 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,099 No, I plan to shoot you, bud. 260 00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:28,600 You're pointing a gun at me? 261 00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:29,860 Yes. 262 00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:34,040 Is this what we have to do? 263 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,780 Where it really went south is when one guy spent like a month of his time 264 00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:44,760 gathering every link, every video clip, everything I'd ever said or done since 265 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:50,820 1998, and he compiled it into this one huge megathread. It's like 10, 15 pages 266 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:51,820 long. 267 00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:56,180 And every time my name would get mentioned on Reddit moving forward, they 268 00:17:56,180 --> 00:18:01,440 would all link to that megathread. Well, these people on Reddit began to bombard 269 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,440 my sponsors. 270 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,610 to make me look as bad as possible. 271 00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:08,790 Every time I got a new sponsor, they would bombard me. 272 00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,590 And eventually they dropped me. 273 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:26,550 Are you ready? Are you ready to step back into 1988? 274 00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:29,190 You ready to go back to my childhood? 275 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:32,250 Because that's what's behind this star. 276 00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:38,990 Do you want to know what this represents to me? 277 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,790 This is everything that was good about my childhood. 278 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:46,630 And when I walk back in here, it's like going back in time, except things aren't 279 00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:47,730 completely shitty. 280 00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:53,190 So this is the classic. I mean, I even have a Pac-Man tattoo. 281 00:18:54,270 --> 00:18:59,270 This is the game I most identify with because it's about a little round guy 282 00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:04,890 running through a maze trying to figure shit out, eating everything in sight. 283 00:19:05,740 --> 00:19:08,240 and getting chased by ghosts of his past. 284 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,560 So I'm basically Pac-Man. 285 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,160 No, it's simple fun. 286 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,420 And, I mean, look at the guy. He looks like me. 287 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:24,580 I might have sprained it or broken it or something. I was walking to the bathroom 288 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:31,220 in there, and there was a loud snap sound, and things kind of 289 00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:32,320 shifted in one direction. 290 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,900 and now my foot is swelling into my shoe and it hurts really badly 291 00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:44,640 it's the fun part about being old and fat you never 292 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:51,340 know you don't know if you'll wake up tomorrow you don't know if today is that 293 00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:55,720 stroke or heart attack you've been waiting on or if it's going to be a 294 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,080 healthy day and you feel real good for a change you never know 295 00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:09,430 So I don't know. 296 00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,190 It could fucking be today. 297 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,430 Do I think I'll make 50? 298 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:19,490 Yeah, probably. That's only two years away. Do I think I'll make 60, which is 299 00:20:19,490 --> 00:20:20,490 12 years away? 300 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,390 Probably not. 301 00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:28,350 Here's everything that's wrong with Boogie. 302 00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:30,110 Low testosterone. 303 00:20:31,550 --> 00:20:33,570 Pepticular hypogonadism. 304 00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:35,210 Sleep apnea. 305 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:42,090 swelling due to blockages of lymphatic flow, seborrheic eczema, chronic back 306 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:46,390 pain, protein in urine. That's from kidney damage, folks. 307 00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:52,810 That is everything keeping me alive. We have Losartan, Tramadol, Buprofen, 308 00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:56,850 Sertraline. Do I deal with back pain? 309 00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:58,070 I deal with nightmares? 310 00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:00,130 I'm always tired. 311 00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:02,610 I don't know the last time I did sleep. 312 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:06,840 Otherwise, if I don't wear this for shade at night, When I'm supposed to be 313 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,540 sleeping, I'm actually drowning in my own fat. 314 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,260 High blood pressure. History of gastric bypass. 315 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,420 Intestinal malabsorption. Vitamin D deficiency. 316 00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:21,460 Because like most gamers, I hate the sun. 317 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,040 Morbid obesity. 318 00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:25,540 Major depressive disorder. 319 00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:27,880 Major anxiety disorder. 320 00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:30,800 History of diabetes malignant. 321 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,020 Blood pooling in veins. 322 00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:39,250 varicose veins of the legs with complications, degeneration of lumbar or 323 00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:45,050 lumbosacral intervertebral disc, that means my back don't work so good, 324 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:50,790 history of basal cell carcinoma, that's cancer, and of course I can't breathe so 325 00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:54,670 good, so asthma and allergies as well. 326 00:21:56,470 --> 00:22:01,630 So, it's a waiting game now, and it's just about making the best of it. 327 00:22:03,370 --> 00:22:05,690 You enjoy what you got when you got it. 328 00:22:09,130 --> 00:22:11,890 Sometimes that's a chicken case of the air. 329 00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:32,150 I wanted to make like a documentary that was generally 330 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:38,280 entertaining, you realize, wait a second, everything he says is 331 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:43,500 depressing. Everything he says is like the saddest shit I've ever heard. 332 00:22:45,980 --> 00:22:52,760 And it's just about making the best of it. This is the first documentary I'm 333 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:59,260 doing. I can't put out a documentary that's this guy the whole time because I 334 00:22:59,260 --> 00:23:00,840 don't want my brand new channel. 335 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:08,300 to be known as making documentaries about the most depressing people that 336 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:11,640 exist. It's just like, what the fuck happened to this guy? 337 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,560 What the fuck happened? 338 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,120 Well, he's losing... 339 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:35,960 what made people originally like him it could be as simple as just that positive 340 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:42,320 attitude why not use your only life to make the lives around you better fuck 341 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,700 you it's none of your fucking business it's my body it's my choice eat shit and 342 00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:50,280 over time in the content we see this shift where he starts to become more 343 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,740 interested in money i just like making content i just like talking to a camera 344 00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:57,440 i just like doing cool stuff I just want ad revenue. I just want YouTube to pay 345 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,780 me a fair amount. It's all I've ever wanted, right? And his concerns about 346 00:23:59,780 --> 00:24:03,420 money. If I could teach you anything, it's to hold on to the money you get. 347 00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:07,920 Oh, are you trying to manipulate people into giving you money? The answer is 348 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,200 yes. Give me some money. 349 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,040 And more interested in complaining. 350 00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:14,740 I couldn't be more grateful. I couldn't be more grateful to people. 351 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,080 Want to comment? Thank you. 352 00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:20,120 I'm a walking embarrassment, dude. We do. Look at me. I'm fucking disgusting. 353 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,060 Better I'm a piece of shit. I will never function. 354 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,410 The way you function. 355 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,110 It's not possible. 356 00:24:28,830 --> 00:24:34,170 That's why if you're griping to your viewers, if you're complaining to your 357 00:24:34,170 --> 00:24:38,130 subscribers, I mean, that just leaves a sour taste in people's mouth. 358 00:24:39,090 --> 00:24:40,550 I think my window's closing. 359 00:24:40,810 --> 00:24:44,250 And if it's not closing already, it's already closed. 360 00:24:44,590 --> 00:24:49,430 Right, so if there was money to be made in making people feel depressed, I think 361 00:24:49,430 --> 00:24:50,430 Boogie would be in the right business. 362 00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:53,410 Like, that's just my life philosophy at this point. 363 00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:55,270 Just face down in the mud. 364 00:24:55,510 --> 00:24:57,770 That's pretty much how we live our lives. 365 00:25:10,070 --> 00:25:15,590 That's right around the corner. Like, I have to sell this place. I have to tap 366 00:25:15,590 --> 00:25:19,210 into the equity to survive. Like, that's the last of my money. 367 00:25:21,590 --> 00:25:26,970 And so much of that money is going to 368 00:25:26,970 --> 00:25:33,830 doctor's appointments and tests and all of 369 00:25:33,830 --> 00:25:35,790 that. It's just to fucking stay alive. 370 00:25:46,990 --> 00:25:50,310 There are plenty of different content creators that have various mental 371 00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:52,210 illnesses all over social media. 372 00:25:52,610 --> 00:25:56,010 And some just say, it is what it is, and this is what I'm going to do. 373 00:25:57,070 --> 00:26:03,170 Boogie tends to be really obsessed with this idea that it's favorable to have 374 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:08,370 people feel sorry for you, and that kind of victim mentality where you can get 375 00:26:08,370 --> 00:26:14,190 further in life if people have compassion on you, regardless of the 376 00:26:14,190 --> 00:26:15,190 reason they're doing it. 377 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:16,880 I look awful. 378 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,940 If I look like I've been through hell over the last couple of days, it's 379 00:26:19,940 --> 00:26:22,940 because I have been. Most notably, I've ruined my body. 380 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,500 Like Jerry, I ruined my own career. 381 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:31,240 Maybe it was the imposter syndrome. Maybe it's because I... It's been a 382 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:32,280 method of... 383 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,980 I think covert narcissism is the right phrase. 384 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,360 Like, oh, look at how pathetic I am. You should feel sorry for me. You would 385 00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:44,020 never be mean to me because I'm so pathetic, right? Oh, I'm so fat. I'm so 386 00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:45,640 weird. I'm so goofy. I'm such an old man. 387 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,920 I grew up in an abusive family and an abusive home. 388 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,380 The amount of pain that's in my head and my heart is... So vulnerable narcissism 389 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:55,580 has a number of characteristics. 390 00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:01,160 A person can be considered a vulnerable narcissist without having them all. 391 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:06,980 So with vulnerable narcissism or covert narcissism, we see pessimism. I feel 392 00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:11,680 defeated and confused and lost all the time, every day. 393 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:13,780 Hypersensitivity to criticism. 394 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:15,880 I can't handle this kind of hate. 395 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:17,840 I can't handle these types of attacks. 396 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,120 I can't do it. Reactive anger, so they're not really thinking things 397 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,380 through. Is this what I have to do? 398 00:27:26,220 --> 00:27:30,600 So he goes by Boogie2988, was booked into the jail this morning. Need for 399 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,480 adoration. Can I get a round of applause? 400 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,200 The self-centeredness. 401 00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:38,800 I'm the perfect victim. I have been victimized my entire life. 402 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,140 The sense of entitlement. 403 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,480 If you guys want to help me pay for my Tesla, please go ahead and dig deep. I 404 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,240 sure would like a free fucking Tesla. Leaving oneself to be special. 405 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:51,900 How many kids went on to get 4.5 million YouTube subscribers? 406 00:27:52,220 --> 00:27:53,420 One. Steven! 407 00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:54,860 William! 408 00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:00,100 You're just watching the same things over and over again 409 00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:15,660 It's 410 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:22,320 so catastrophic not happy about it People are sick of the stick 411 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:30,600 And what would you recommend to him now to get his viewers back? 412 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,340 I don't think he's getting his viewers back. I don't think that's a 413 00:28:34,340 --> 00:28:41,020 possibility. I think the only thing to do now is go a different angle. 414 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,820 But I don't even know if that's possible. 415 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:48,260 I mean, I'm not going to say it's impossible, but how do you change 416 00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:50,240 yourself? Viewers are smart. 417 00:28:50,460 --> 00:28:54,120 They want to see you. They want to see what you're interested in. 418 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,020 I don't know. You've got to get a job. 419 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:00,480 Maybe in this case, GameStop. 420 00:29:21,130 --> 00:29:22,190 My name is Dawn. 421 00:29:22,490 --> 00:29:23,730 Dawn, I'm Boogie, or Steve. 422 00:29:24,090 --> 00:29:27,550 Okay, what do you prefer to be called? Honestly, probably Steve. Let's go with 423 00:29:27,550 --> 00:29:29,790 Steve. Okay, Steve. No problem. Whatever you prefer. 424 00:29:30,370 --> 00:29:34,850 And so you are here today because you are seeking employment. 425 00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:37,650 Yeah. You're seeking out new work opportunities. 426 00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:42,570 Absolutely. Tell me a little bit about your background and where you think you 427 00:29:42,570 --> 00:29:44,230 want to go with the experience that you already have. 428 00:29:44,790 --> 00:29:49,470 I did work at a small gaming store back in 2006, 2007. 429 00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:50,750 I am disabled. 430 00:29:51,460 --> 00:29:54,520 recognized by the state of Arkansas, but also the United States government. 431 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,760 There's that. Now, the downside to that is I am extremely depressed. So there's 432 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,540 some mental health issues that we bring to the table. 433 00:30:02,060 --> 00:30:08,960 And then physically, I am morbidly obese. I have no references, no work 434 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,000 history, and no education. 435 00:30:11,580 --> 00:30:17,940 And when you Google my name, you might see rumors that I... 436 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,540 beat my ex-wife and I'm also a pedophile. I should mention I'm also a 437 00:30:22,540 --> 00:30:23,780 felon. Okay. 438 00:30:25,540 --> 00:30:26,760 What's the nature of your felony? 439 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:28,920 Aggravated assault. 440 00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:30,300 How old is it? 441 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:32,520 About two years. 442 00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:36,600 Okay. So I think there are some avenues you could explore. 443 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:41,000 I definitely don't think it's impossible, but you have some 444 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,520 challenges. Yeah. Lots of things in life are about your mindset. 445 00:30:45,759 --> 00:30:51,100 and you're using weight and disability, I can't, I can't, I can't. If that is 446 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:53,380 the attitude that you're going to have when you approach everything, then you 447 00:30:53,380 --> 00:30:54,600 can't, and you won't. 448 00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:58,940 I did work in the porn industry for the better part of seven years, so, I 449 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,920 mean... Be real with me. Do you really think it would be a good idea to go to a 450 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,160 real interview and reference porn? 451 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,140 It depended on the job, I would think. 452 00:31:09,580 --> 00:31:13,280 Like, at a strip club, maybe, but probably not in a more professional 453 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,280 setting, I would say. 454 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,800 Yeah. I would say that. 455 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:22,380 What would you think his chances are here of getting employment in the next 456 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:23,620 three months? 457 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,040 I'm not sure. 458 00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:31,320 When it comes to the felony, we would have to seek corporate approval for that 459 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,560 sort of charge in order to proceed forward with a candidate. 460 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,960 And they would ultimately be the ones to make the decision as to whether or not 461 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,280 we would feel comfortable presenting someone like that to our clients. 462 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,480 Any violent felonies, violent crimes, or sexual crimes? 463 00:31:49,660 --> 00:31:50,660 Hey, Mike. 464 00:31:51,020 --> 00:31:52,020 Listen, dude. 465 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,180 I know we're making this documentary and everything, and I know you think I need 466 00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:57,420 to get a real job, but I just want to let you know I'm not going to. 467 00:31:58,180 --> 00:32:04,860 I'm not going to walk into some job when I have 4 million subscribers on YouTube. 468 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,660 I'm one of the original YouTubers. 469 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:12,760 What I'm going to do instead is go back to making content, go back to telling 470 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,600 stories and entertaining people. 471 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:16,940 and making money doing it. 472 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,200 You want to check back with me in a couple of months. Let's see how things 473 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,199 are going. 474 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,200 All right? 475 00:32:22,820 --> 00:32:23,820 I'll talk to you then. 476 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:26,800 Go lay down. 477 00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:28,960 Go lay down. Go lay down. Good job. 478 00:32:30,940 --> 00:32:33,400 Yeah, I mean, things are great. 479 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,320 People are still mad at me on YouTube. 480 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,880 My view numbers are pretty much... 481 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,180 Close to zero. I'm having trouble breaking 10K on an upload right now. 482 00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:52,200 Not everything is bad. 483 00:32:52,460 --> 00:32:55,980 I've got at least one good thing going on. 484 00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:57,620 Can I show you? 485 00:32:58,980 --> 00:32:59,980 Sure. 486 00:33:04,540 --> 00:33:07,100 So this is Debbie. 487 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,360 You can call her Deb. 488 00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:14,740 Desiree. Yeah, Desiree. We've been dating now for months. A couple months, 489 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:15,840 yeah. Yeah. 490 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:26,980 I don't know what it was. 491 00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:32,120 I guess it's his energy, his curly hair, his glasses. I must be into nerds. 492 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:36,640 I guess, I don't know. He's just adorable to me. I like him. 493 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,500 He was going through a lot. 494 00:33:39,850 --> 00:33:46,830 And I randomly hit him up on Instagram, and I told him that I support him and 495 00:33:46,830 --> 00:33:48,370 that I'm always here for him and stuff. 496 00:33:48,590 --> 00:33:50,830 So it started from there. 497 00:33:52,170 --> 00:33:56,950 On paper, it just doesn't really add up, right? It doesn't make sense on paper, 498 00:33:57,010 --> 00:34:01,250 but then practiced in the reality, there was just something there. 499 00:34:03,550 --> 00:34:06,030 So it was pretty crazy, but I just felt it. 500 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:10,960 I felt an energy connection to him before I even met him, and I don't know. 501 00:34:11,020 --> 00:34:16,880 That's just how it is. And then the longer we spent talking, I don't know, I 502 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,880 eventually just realized we're the same person, doing the same thing, living the 503 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,400 same lives, just at different stages. 504 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,699 I can see myself getting married to Boogie. 505 00:34:25,260 --> 00:34:28,139 I could definitely see us getting married. 506 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:29,620 In fact, I... 507 00:34:30,219 --> 00:34:33,780 We may or may not have talked about it a little bit, and we may or may not sit 508 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:37,100 around fantasizing about it and thinking about what it's going to look like. And 509 00:34:37,100 --> 00:34:43,460 I called you wifey the other day, and you loved it. You were so there for it. 510 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,000 If I proposed right now on camera, what would you do? 511 00:34:47,620 --> 00:34:48,620 Yeah. 512 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:51,100 That's a good sign. 513 00:34:55,880 --> 00:35:00,120 improved my life tremendously he just makes me happy the happiest I've ever 514 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:06,380 been and I'm not alone and so that he just completes me growing up without a 515 00:35:06,380 --> 00:35:10,880 father figure has its challenges like you just don't have that that that 516 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:16,600 support system that you would and the advice that you need and so it's just 517 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:21,160 difficult I don't ever want to be alone that's another thing I'm just that I 518 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,380 just Maybe that's why I have stuffed animals. I don't ever want to be alone, 519 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:27,260 and so it's nice to have company. 520 00:35:30,660 --> 00:35:36,240 I help with the dogs. I get them his water, whatever he wants and requests. 521 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,240 Mainly it's to take care of him. He takes care of me. 522 00:35:43,020 --> 00:35:45,360 Sometimes I pick weeds out here. 523 00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:50,120 It makes it look better. 524 00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:57,780 I'm trying to trim down these vines, but I'm not doing a good job. I don't do 525 00:35:57,780 --> 00:35:58,780 this very much. 526 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:05,380 You know, I used to have a theory, Mike, that if you are a 40-year-old man and 527 00:36:05,380 --> 00:36:08,060 you have a Snapchat, that means you're a creepy dude. 528 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,280 Turns out my theory was right. I have a Snapchat, and I am a creepy dude. 529 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,340 I found that person and they happen to be 20. And I get that it's creepy to 530 00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:30,800 date somebody half your age or younger, but people can call me creepy if they 531 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:36,160 want. If she's happy and I'm happy, then I will be the biggest creep you need me 532 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:41,080 to be as long as her and I are happy. You can be as mad as you want. 533 00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:49,780 Sexually, we both seem to be having an excellent time. I 534 00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:54,520 would say that it's the best I ever had. 535 00:37:41,750 --> 00:37:44,470 What are you, a YouTuber or something? 536 00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:49,350 Yeah, I've been on YouTube for about 17 years. You've been on YouTube for 17 537 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,770 years? Yeah, 4 million subscribers. 538 00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:57,610 Okay, and this is your girlfriend, who is much younger than you, 539 00:37:57,690 --> 00:37:58,730 suspiciously. 540 00:38:01,090 --> 00:38:02,250 She's an adult. 541 00:38:02,890 --> 00:38:06,070 You know, it's never good when you say, well, she's an adult. 542 00:38:20,970 --> 00:38:24,610 I hate it when people single us out. I hate it when people like... We're going 543 00:38:24,610 --> 00:38:25,910 to do that though, to be expected. 544 00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:27,350 You're right, we're different. 545 00:38:28,210 --> 00:38:29,210 Fuck them, right? 546 00:38:29,870 --> 00:38:30,890 Yep, fuck them. 547 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000 not manipulating me. 548 00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,800 I love him for him. He doesn't control me. We're a team. 549 00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:46,760 He supports me in everything I do and everything I want. He's my support 550 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:47,760 system. 551 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:58,300 Let me get a McCrispy Deluxe 552 00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:02,100 combo. Make it large. 553 00:39:06,030 --> 00:39:08,930 What do I think about his dire financial situation? I think it's scary. 554 00:39:09,790 --> 00:39:11,070 Yeah, what's so scary about it? 555 00:39:11,710 --> 00:39:15,490 That he might lose it all in a day. He might just be homeless one day. 556 00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:24,750 So if I'm broke, if I go broke, okay, if we end up back on disability 557 00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:31,750 and it's me, you, and Chad living in some small apartment and we're eating 558 00:39:31,750 --> 00:39:33,870 McDonald's every day and that's treating ourselves. 559 00:39:35,490 --> 00:39:38,710 You going to be able to handle that? Yeah, I get to meet you, Chad, at 560 00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:40,790 McDonald's every day in our small, cute apartment. 561 00:39:41,510 --> 00:39:46,850 Because, I mean, I'm hopeful that people will go back to watching us on YouTube. 562 00:39:47,010 --> 00:39:51,790 I hope that people will be, I'm hopeful that people will, like, you know, I can 563 00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:54,590 go back to live streaming full-time again and do, like, six-hour live 564 00:39:54,590 --> 00:39:58,890 streams like every other streamer and, like, grind it out. But, I mean, there 565 00:39:58,890 --> 00:40:02,790 is a very real possibility that one day I won't be able to do that anymore and 566 00:40:02,790 --> 00:40:04,730 we're going to have to live off of whatever we can. 567 00:40:06,100 --> 00:40:07,220 Are you prepared for that? 568 00:40:09,780 --> 00:40:11,480 As long as I have you, that's all I need. 569 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:20,320 Have you ever thought about the fact that she's just waiting you out and 570 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,140 trying to take your 401k when you die? 571 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:25,960 I'm out. I'm broke. 572 00:40:26,260 --> 00:40:27,600 You're broke. I'm broke, yeah. 573 00:40:27,860 --> 00:40:29,060 Four million subscribers. 574 00:40:31,860 --> 00:40:35,360 Even if he does go broke and has to sell the house, I'm still going to be by his 575 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,360 side. 576 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:41,280 He's the only one that I love and I care about, and there's only one of them. And 577 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,520 so I'm not just going to up and leave him for money, because money's an issue. 578 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,420 Because I love him, and just imagining a life without him is difficult. 579 00:40:55,100 --> 00:40:57,100 I mean, my biggest fear is dying on him. 580 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:58,620 If I die in the next... 581 00:40:59,130 --> 00:41:01,590 two or three years on her, that's just going to ruin her life. 582 00:41:04,290 --> 00:41:09,690 I really want you to understand how actually sick I am. Like, I don't know 583 00:41:09,690 --> 00:41:14,510 if you actually get it, but this is my health summary. 584 00:41:14,890 --> 00:41:18,770 This is everything that's currently wrong with me. 585 00:41:19,550 --> 00:41:24,430 My risk for stroke or heart attack is astronomical. 586 00:41:25,670 --> 00:41:27,930 I am essentially 587 00:41:29,060 --> 00:41:35,820 a walking time bomb and I'm so fucking sorry for that 588 00:41:35,820 --> 00:41:42,660 I really really wish I had taken better care of my 589 00:41:42,660 --> 00:41:43,660 body 590 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,320 I've talked to my therapist since me and her have been together about overcoming 591 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,840 it. My therapist keeps telling me the same thing. When you learn to love 592 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,360 yourself, all these things will fall into place. And we just got to teach you 593 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:16,078 those skills. 594 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:20,080 And then I turned to my doctor and I'm like, what do we do? He's like, you've 595 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:23,460 had bypass surgery. You lost 200 pounds. What more can I do for you? 596 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,320 I'm like, fix it, dude. Help fix it. And then they're telling me that I'm the one 597 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,600 that has to fix it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. 598 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:34,140 And I'm making less and less every month. And I'm scared shitless. 599 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,600 Making his way through the ring, Boogie Tonight! 600 00:42:49,220 --> 00:42:55,520 Hey, so Mike, I just got off the phone with Keemstar, and he has a boxing event 601 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,720 coming up, and he's giving me a slot on the card. You got it? 602 00:42:59,580 --> 00:43:05,680 This is 800 pounds in one ring. This fight pays $10,000. 603 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:09,000 No chance against me. 604 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,200 Boogie Tonight! 605 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,080 People are going to see me win this thing. This is where I turn it all 606 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:17,340 around. Right here. 607 00:43:22,620 --> 00:43:23,100 Watch 608 00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:35,260 the 609 00:43:35,260 --> 00:43:39,400 way he hits my head. My brain got shocked with each one of them. 610 00:43:40,860 --> 00:43:42,620 ricocheting against my skull. 611 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:52,740 So since you guys were here last, I did have a bit of a windfall, which bought 612 00:43:52,740 --> 00:43:55,660 me some time here in this house. 613 00:43:57,260 --> 00:44:03,300 The problem with that is I spent more than $10,000 getting that fight 614 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:06,360 together. So by the time all that was done... 615 00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,540 All I did was put that $10,000 back into savings. 616 00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,440 Being in a new relationship is great. 617 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:19,140 But, I mean, she can't help pay a $2,200 mortgage. 618 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,720 Okay, let's go through my monthly bills for a second. 619 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,000 My health insurance is $800. 620 00:44:28,220 --> 00:44:32,180 I have $500 worth of medical bills. I have $500 worth of utilities. 621 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:36,560 I pay for doctor's visits, physical therapy, labs constantly. 622 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,600 I still have to pay for the car that I drive. I still have to pay for car 623 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,620 insurance. I still have to pay for health insurance. Diablo 4 came out. I 624 00:44:43,620 --> 00:44:44,578 had to buy it. 625 00:44:44,580 --> 00:44:49,220 Final Fantasy 16 came out. I had to buy it. Tears of the Kingdom came out. I had 626 00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:53,620 to buy it. That's $400 worth of video games right there. But if you take out 627 00:44:53,620 --> 00:44:58,070 all of it, You take it out. All I eat is sandwiches every day. 628 00:44:59,510 --> 00:45:01,310 All I do is sit here. 629 00:45:01,650 --> 00:45:04,410 I don't pay for any Netflix subscriptions. 630 00:45:04,690 --> 00:45:10,290 All I pay for is internet, utilities, medical bills, mortgage. If I pay for 631 00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:15,150 just that, I need $7,000 a month. 632 00:45:16,910 --> 00:45:22,830 I'm not making $7,000 a month and I have no clue how to do it. 633 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,260 So there's something I've always wanted to try. 634 00:45:40,580 --> 00:45:43,640 There's a lot of research that came out of Europe and now we're doing it here in 635 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:48,160 the United States where psychedelics can help reset certain brains. 636 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,820 People who experience childhood abuse, people who've gone through trauma, 637 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,240 people who deal with post-traumatic stress disorder. 638 00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:56,620 And I'm all of those. 639 00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,580 To be honest, I'm scared shitless. 640 00:46:01,540 --> 00:46:04,160 It's one of the only things I haven't tried yet. 641 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:07,200 So let's give it a shot. 642 00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:22,120 My given name is Ryan Arthur DiLeoio, and I've adopted the name Flaming Star. 643 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:27,740 There's one thing that's undeniable, is that there's always this question about 644 00:46:27,740 --> 00:46:29,620 why. Why am I here? 645 00:46:30,260 --> 00:46:32,420 Existence. What's really happening? 646 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:33,640 Who am I? 647 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,480 That's what happens when you seek out hallucinogenics. It's going to allow 648 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:41,860 everything else physically here to relax. 649 00:46:42,140 --> 00:46:46,180 The emotional stuff is going to come out. Trauma is going to come out. But 650 00:46:46,180 --> 00:46:50,260 afterwards, your atoms are going to go back into their original position. 651 00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:52,640 That's why. 652 00:46:52,940 --> 00:46:56,040 There'll be mind, body, and spirit all one together. 653 00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:58,120 We're all connected. 654 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,680 I believe it. When you get to a certain point of understanding, 655 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:07,820 inside your intellect mind, that connectivity you realize your hands are 656 00:47:07,820 --> 00:47:09,780 basically like USB ports. 657 00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:16,000 So these are the... It's crazy to think that something that just grows out of 658 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,660 the ground has so much power, and I'm actually holding it in my hand right 659 00:47:19,660 --> 00:47:20,660 now. 660 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:22,440 But here we go. 661 00:47:23,820 --> 00:47:29,760 They don't taste bad. 662 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,440 Honestly, that doesn't taste too bad. 663 00:47:32,089 --> 00:47:33,370 They're pretty good and dry. 664 00:47:34,170 --> 00:47:36,230 Everybody just says it's kind of earthy. 665 00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:40,209 Stem and all. 666 00:47:40,210 --> 00:47:41,630 Oh, the whole thing, yeah, yeah. Okay. 667 00:47:43,530 --> 00:47:44,570 Welcome to the club. 668 00:47:49,730 --> 00:47:52,510 May God bless you and be with you on your journey. 669 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,620 Okay, so I think we've been about 20 minutes in. 670 00:48:04,980 --> 00:48:06,940 About 15, yeah. About 15. 671 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:13,920 So we're about 15 minutes in, and I started to feel things are kind of wavy 672 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:15,080 and kind of disconnected. 673 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:19,740 It's kind of like my brain works on multiple channels, and I have to pick 674 00:48:19,740 --> 00:48:21,560 and choose what I'm concentrating on. 675 00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:30,080 I have no clue where the fuck I am or even 676 00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:35,020 who I am. I don't give a fuck. I recognize you. He's about to experience 677 00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:39,940 the second part of the realization of letting go. 678 00:48:40,420 --> 00:48:42,280 And we're going to get to the other side of it. 679 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,320 I told you they'd come. It's going to get nice and bright in about five more 680 00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:51,600 minutes. And the reflection in the water is really cool too. 681 00:48:52,750 --> 00:48:56,270 So what do you think was the first trauma that you experienced which 682 00:48:56,270 --> 00:49:00,030 basically set up like a defense mechanism for you? 683 00:49:02,370 --> 00:49:08,510 Man, my parents are just crazy. They're broken people. Parents? 684 00:49:09,610 --> 00:49:10,610 Yeah. 685 00:49:11,270 --> 00:49:12,270 Stewards. 686 00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:18,130 People who are like trying to... Oh, okay. 687 00:49:18,530 --> 00:49:19,530 Okay. 688 00:49:25,210 --> 00:49:29,330 Yep. That makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? 689 00:49:30,270 --> 00:49:31,270 What? 690 00:49:36,150 --> 00:49:39,190 Like, they don't... I mean, that shit doesn't matter. 691 00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:42,170 It really doesn't matter. 692 00:49:42,870 --> 00:49:44,470 That was the dumbest shit. 693 00:49:44,810 --> 00:49:47,150 Oh, and it happened so long ago. 694 00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:50,490 Like, I've just been waiting. 695 00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,460 for the right time to just drop that shit. 696 00:49:55,900 --> 00:50:01,160 So when did you feel the need of this separate personality? 697 00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:08,620 Was that like what you used as a coping mechanism to socialize with? 698 00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:13,680 Oh, that's exactly what it is, right? Like, I didn't know what the hell... I 699 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,620 didn't know how to communicate what I was dealing with or what I was going 700 00:50:16,620 --> 00:50:20,750 through, and I just... Right? We put on these different faces in order to deal 701 00:50:20,750 --> 00:50:22,150 with situations in society. 702 00:50:22,670 --> 00:50:24,630 You try to give people what the hell they want. 703 00:50:24,950 --> 00:50:28,310 And then you felt like that was the need to make up Francis or other 704 00:50:28,310 --> 00:50:29,650 personalities? Yeah. 705 00:50:30,690 --> 00:50:32,290 Are you ready to let all that go? 706 00:50:34,150 --> 00:50:35,470 Yeah, please, man. 707 00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:40,470 Oh, my God. 708 00:50:41,490 --> 00:50:43,690 This is the first time I've ever felt happiness. 709 00:50:44,490 --> 00:50:45,490 Wait, wait, what? 710 00:50:45,830 --> 00:50:46,830 Happiness. 711 00:50:47,299 --> 00:50:51,020 This is the first time I felt it. I don't have to tell him, man. It's all 712 00:50:51,020 --> 00:50:51,959 kind of bullshit. 713 00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,000 It's all bullshit. 714 00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,160 It's just all the things I've been worried about. 715 00:50:56,680 --> 00:51:00,660 Because you are the master of your own orchestra, man. It's a game, right? 716 00:51:01,340 --> 00:51:02,620 It's up to you to choose. 717 00:51:07,580 --> 00:51:09,180 Steven, can you get up? 718 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,440 Hello? 719 00:51:31,850 --> 00:51:35,110 I'm still not sure I'm, like, really here yet. 720 00:51:40,310 --> 00:51:41,570 I don't really want breakfast. 721 00:51:41,890 --> 00:51:43,230 That's a change. 722 00:51:45,270 --> 00:51:46,270 Jesus. 723 00:51:47,390 --> 00:51:51,450 Come on, guys. 724 00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:53,610 Let's go. 725 00:51:56,630 --> 00:51:58,850 It's just all bullshit. Like, none of this matters. 726 00:51:59,250 --> 00:52:00,250 None of it. 727 00:52:00,490 --> 00:52:01,490 It's all... 728 00:52:01,850 --> 00:52:07,250 a construct. It's all a simulation. It's all a, it's a fucking video game. 729 00:52:08,970 --> 00:52:12,210 You know, when you die, I think I died last night. 730 00:52:13,070 --> 00:52:18,050 I physically, my body was fine, but I think I went back into 731 00:52:18,050 --> 00:52:21,670 the void we come from. 732 00:52:23,210 --> 00:52:30,190 And I think, I think I'm still in it. 733 00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:35,300 Except I'm also in this physical corporal body, but I'm also the 734 00:52:35,300 --> 00:52:40,220 incorporeal being that puppets it and controls it, and goddammit, I feel like 735 00:52:40,220 --> 00:52:41,220 I'm in control. 736 00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:45,700 I feel like I'm in control of myself for the first fucking time. 737 00:52:55,310 --> 00:52:58,990 It's the stuff that I normally worry about. I worry about my finances, 738 00:52:59,010 --> 00:53:02,430 worrying about my internet, worrying about what people think about me. It's 739 00:53:02,430 --> 00:53:04,490 all so incredibly stupid. 740 00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:07,490 It's all just bullshit. 741 00:53:08,570 --> 00:53:11,910 I think I'm going to enjoy making YouTube videos again. I think I'm going 742 00:53:11,910 --> 00:53:13,670 to enjoy live streaming again. 743 00:53:14,590 --> 00:53:21,310 When I make a video, 10 744 00:53:21,310 --> 00:53:23,770 ,000, 15,000, 20,000 people watch. 745 00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,160 That is still my dream job. 746 00:53:26,900 --> 00:53:29,940 Everybody falls off. That's part of the deal. 747 00:53:30,340 --> 00:53:32,580 He had tons. 748 00:53:32,860 --> 00:53:37,820 You start off as a nobody, and for a short period of time you're a somebody, 749 00:53:37,980 --> 00:53:41,580 and then that star burns out like every star does. 750 00:53:41,980 --> 00:53:44,140 I was lucky enough to get hit by lightning. 751 00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:48,040 I was lucky enough to get to live my dream. 752 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:52,740 I was lucky enough to get to enjoy all of that, play this game the way I wanted 753 00:53:52,740 --> 00:53:53,740 to play it. 754 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:55,520 I'll be gone one day, too. 755 00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:03,100 But for one brief moment, we got an opportunity to shine really bright. 756 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:07,480 Oh, yeah! 757 00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:15,520 Wow, that was pretty good, Bobby. Oh, my God. 758 00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,460 You're seeing them stars in the cotton tree. 759 00:54:38,750 --> 00:54:41,830 I thought it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen 760 00:54:49,420 --> 00:54:53,920 You genuinely believe that I can make a comeback? I did when I showed up. 761 00:54:54,540 --> 00:54:59,740 But I'm slowly realizing that you're absolutely fucked. 762 00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:01,180 Okay. Unfortunately. 763 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:11,700 He got pretty mad because he can't find his Mountain Dew. And I gotta be honest, 764 00:55:11,780 --> 00:55:14,900 the funniest part is he tried to find the Mountain Dew in the microwave. 765 00:55:15,140 --> 00:55:16,140 Oh my God.